The single most common neurological symptom reported in MPD is headache.
(Frank Putnam) Suffering frequent headaches is so typical an experience
for multiples that it is one of the major clues psychologists look for
when diagnosing MPD. Most multiples report that their headaches are extremely
painful, often to the point of being literally blinding. Medication seldom
works to relieve the pressure or pain. There are some different explanations
for why multiples get more headaches than the general population.
STRESS: Life can be very stressful for multiples. In addition to normal
daily problems, you have to deal with post-traumatic stress arising from
your abuse history. Other stresses specific to multiples include lost
time, waking up in the middle of situations and having to appear as if
you know what is going on, and trying to find ways to continue funct-ioning
when all you want is to hide under your bed forever. All of this can leave
your nerves ragged and muscles bunched up in tension. It can also drain
you of emotional strength. Headaches are a natural result. Considerable
physical stress is also a consequence of having a dissociative disorder
as you use your physical senses to contain and come to terms with your
psychological disabilities and "strange" experiences. Take derealisation,
for example: a common occurrence of dissociative misperception wherein
the world seems distorted or two-dimensional. The effort to focus your
vision all the time can cause eye strain and, subsequently, acute headache.
On top of this, it can be incredibly distressing, frustrating, and frightening
to experience episodes of derealisation. The emotional toll is enough
in itself to cause headache. But it doesn't end there because, in addition
to the physical effects of trying to deal with dissociative misperceptions,
and the emotional effects of it, most dissociators also fight hard to
hold everything together and look "normal" to the outside world.
This can be exhausting, especially when selves are struggling to get out.
As the brain works furiously to manage all these layers of stress, the
dissociator develops a worsening headache.
To ease stress headaches, find what works best for you to decrease swollen,
tense muscles. This is different for everyone - some prefer ice whereas
others need to stand in a warm shower. Massage can be helpful. Music is
soothing but, for some people, the noise simply adds another layer of
stimulus onto the load the brain is already having to deal with. Some
find the only thing they can do to help the pain is sleep. This works
by giving your body a chance to rest and revitalise.
There are also a number of self-hypnotic techniques you can use to let
the stress and pain go. As dissociators are highly hypnotisable, these
techniques can be particularly effective. You can create any hypnotic
scenario you want from your own imagination. For example, fill your mind
with a gentle, soothing colour that washes the pain away.
OVERSTIMULATION: Multiples are very prone to pressure-type headaches
caused by too much incoming stimulus. This barrage of psychic "noise"
includes things which impact on all our senses and overwhelm them. It
may come from inside - for example, too many alter selves standing near
the front of consciousness. The noise may also come from outside - too
much sound, too many bright colours that blur infront of your eyes. There
are two probable reasons why multiples are overly sensitive to external
stimuli - because of their chronic abuse experiences, multiples have developed
a hyper-alertness which means they are constantly aware of everything
around them incase danger is lurking - and because they have so many different
"eyes" perceiving the world around them, often simultaneously.
As one survivor put it, "Sometimes things have too much meaning.
It's as if we're all looking at something at the same time, and our different
perceptions get jumbled-up and become too much to cope with, and then
our head feels as if it's going to explode. And of course we all have
separate feelings and opinions for what we see. It can be unbearable.
There are so many eyes/minds, but only one sensory system to process everything.
Even just a walk down the city street can leave us with a crippling (but
somehow painless) headache."
To help ease headaches cause by overstimulation, ask inside for everyone
to step back and give you some space and quiet. Explain that it is more
effective for them to tell you about their experiences when you have time
and energy to listen properly. Alternatively, they may like to write their
thoughts/feelings in a journal if they can't wait. Some multiples find
it helpful to carry pen and paper around with them for this purpose.
There are ways to achieve ventilation of some of the noise - deep breathing
exercises are good for this, and again you can use a number of self-hypnotic
techniques, such as picturing a steam-valve on the side of your neck.
If you find it overwhelming to go out in public surrounded by "noise
pollution", you could try wearing a walkman that playing peaceful,
soothing music which blocks out the other noise.
SWITCHING: Switching from one alter self to another causes headache mainly
when there is some kind of conflict between the selves for control. The
solution to this is better commun-ication and co-operation within your
system. When there is a disagreement about who should be "out",
many selves may be happy to accept a third party to take the out position
as act as a mediator so both voices can be heard through her. Often this
third party is an automaton self who has few sensitivities of her own,
and so is not disturbed by being a channel through which others can communicate.
Another suggestion is that, instead of coming completely out, the two
selves stand in a place on the edge of inside, where they can be heard
without a complete switch having to occur. Most people find that, as their
co-consciousness increases, struggles for control (and the consequent
headaches) cease to be a problem.
There are some multiples who experience headache or other symptoms, such
as nausea or dizziness, with even the most uncomplicated and unconflicted
switches. This is usually the case for those who are early in their healing
process, or whose dissociative barriers are profound. It is not surprising
when you consider the physiological changes that happen when a multiple
switches between alter selves. It has been proven that selves have their
own unique pattern of brainwaves. Furthermore, everyone has at different
ages a different biochemistry and mental capacity - thus the switch from
adult to child is going to be more physiologically complex than between
two adults.
SPILLAGE: When alters have disputes between themselves at a subconscious
level, or when one is seething because of some anxiety they have, the
tension often emerges in the form of headache. In this way, the person
who is out may have a migraine without being aware that it is being caused
by a stroppy teenager who is figuratively stomping around inside because
she is angry about something. Alter selves are also notorious for sending
headaches to the front person as a kind of message. This headache can
be seen as a kind of acting out. In cases like these, pain-killing medication
is of no use, because there is no actual physiological problem - the pain
results from emotional disturbance. It is necessary to get the selves
talking to you about what is going on for them. If they are willing to
do this, there is a better chance they will get their needs met than if
they simply radiate wordless feelings and pain.
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If
you are going to work with ritual abuse survivors, you must also get educated
if you want to be effective. And you must learn to be humble. Trauma survivors
do not need to be around ignorant, modern-day Pharisees. Survivors in
pain need people who will connect with them on an emotional level, get
right down in there where they are, and listen. --Kathleen Sullivan