Guidelines

As list owner and moderator, my main goal in creating Multiple Treasures was for people to have a safe place to be able to talk about their abuse and be supported by other members. It is my job to steer the membership in a direction that is comfortable for everyone. I work hard, along with the staff, to make this safe for everyone. I hope everyone understands why I post the rules and guidelines and why they are important for Multiple Treasures to keep running smoothly.

One last thing, staff members are listed at the end of the guidelines. Please feel free to contact any of us privately at any point. Remember, they are regular people like I am, so sometimes they may be away from their computers for hours or days at a time, or may not be in a place in their life where they can respond to you. Please do not take it personally. If you do not get a response back in a reasonable time, try another staff person, or post to the list and ask for a staff person to contact you privately.

PURPOSE:

The purpose of Multiple Treasures (MT) is to provide a safe place for those who have been diagnosed with MPD/DID and and who profess that Christ is their Savior and Lord. We welcome all adults who are willing to grow, be conscious and aware, and have the courage and strength to examine their beliefs and behaviors in the context of living a Christian way. This list can be a powerful tool that can bring to the surface many insights and core issues. We invite list users to share their strengths, skills, insights, successes, hopes, and dreams and life wisdom. While it may be human nature to want to speed up the healing process and get on with one’s life, some things require time to process and cannot be rushed. Please go easy on yourself (and others) and pace yourself. However, this is not permission to engage in unhealthy behaviors. Be aware that the subscribers are from all stages of ‘recovery’ from abuse and other unhealthy issues. Some subscribers are new to recovery and are raw and vulnerable. Detailed descriptions of behavior that are insensitive, provocative, or thoughtless can trigger some people to engage in acting out or to withdraw due to discomfort. (Will discuss later how to post this type of subject matter.)

We encourage relationship and friendship with other members of Multiple Treasures. We as staff, are aware, however, because Multiple Treasures brought members together and therefore off-line communications do affect the membership, and so to a certain extent as it affect the membership as a whole, we have a responsibility even to off-line communications between members if brought to our attention. So, we encourage members to keep the same guidelines off line, as they would post to the list. Please keep the same guidelines of safety in place as you learn about relationship, friendship. If you are violated in a way that constitute emotional rape from another member of the list, realize that you do not sacrifice safety on the alter of friendship. You must also determine for yourself the safety of your community and whether or not to continue an off-line relationship with that person at all.

If you have a complaint about a member who:

  1. is expressing inappropriate behaviors,
  2. trying to make you a therapist by crossing the lines of friendship into therapy,
  3. expressing deviant and unsafe things to you about you or others on the emailing list or the forum and this makes you feel no longer safe to express your self on it.

Please contact the staff and we will evaluate the situation and determine if the person not keeping safety guidelines is a safety issue to the list as a whole. If we vote that the person is a safety issue to the list as a whole, we reserve the right to terminate that person’s membership with an explanation to them as to why we are removing them from Multiple Treasures.

We understand that you may join this list and feel as though you are not ready for an online support mailing list and wish to terminate your membership. We understand this and encourage you to keep yourself safe and know your limitations. Because we list safety as our first priority all new members will be on a guarded status for 60 days. This just means the staff will be watching for signals that perhaps without knowing, we allowed a person that enjoys preying on lists of support because of their deviance. This is a safety protocol we have for all new members joining. Of course, most of our new members are not deviant, and follow the guidelines consistently put in place for everyone’s safety.

Realizing that, also accept:

  1. The guidelines cannot possibly cover every possible situation, please use respect when posting.
  2. Please review these guidelines when they are posted to the emailing list.
  3. Remember that there are several people on staff who are here to support the group as a whole. Please post to them privately if you have a concern about the list. Sometimes it will be easier to post to a staff person that you know outside the list, and sometimes it will be easier to post to one whom you do not know as well. Remember that staff will share with staff as necessary, but only with other staff, not the whole list, without your written permission.

RULES:

Yea, you knew this was coming. Actually there are only two rules, both one word long.

  1. Respect – anything you post, please make sure that respect is the first guideline
  2. Confidentiality – anything and everything posted on the private emailing list/folders is to remain within.

And of course the following:
No one on this group is a professional, paid or voluntary. Responses are given from one person who “has been there” to another or just from someone who is willing to listen. See the full disclaimer on website or in files.

DISCLAIMER: No one on this group is a professional, paid or voluntary. Responses are given from one person who “has been there” to another or just from someone who is willing to listen. Check with Multiple Treasures web site by clicking here. Nothing posted here can be considered professionally therapeutic. If you are feeling suicidal, please contact your local crisis center or call 911. If anyone on this list feels that someone has suicidal ideations, that person will be asked if they have suicidal ideations and then it will be highly recommended that a crises center or 911 be called that is closest to the person in need. No one on this list is responsible for your behavior but yourself.

Now for the main reason of this post:

GUIDELINES:
For our group’s purpose there is but one ultimate authority – our loving God, who expresses Himself as He wills in our group conscience. We believe that Jesus is loving, kind and accepting. We all encounter God and Jesus in different ways. No one way is right and another wrong. Everyone must define who God is, for them; it must be experienced within them rather than explained to them. All peoples of this earth have been abused in one way or another. Some do not recognize that they have been, some choose to ignore the issue(s), and others want to get better, with God’s help. Some have been hurt in a small way, others in ways more evastating. When a person has been abused, they have been spiritually abused also. It is important to heal spiritually for the healing to be complete.

Who may post: Only people that subscribe may post. The “host” is responsible for the posting of any alters. Also remember there are many levels of computers and computer literacy in this group. Please respect the different levels of ability and knowledge. If there is a portion of a post that you cannot read and want to, please let the list know. If it is an on-going problem, let Grace privately and they will see what needs to be done to correct the situation. Sometimes the problem arises with the person posting, the ISP, or some other unknown factor on Internet.

Subject line: On the top of every post there is a space for Subject. This line should reflect the content of the post. When one posts, please ensure that the “subject line” clearly reflects the contents of the post. If more than one major subject is included, use the first subject, and/or the most important subject and then state ‘and others’ or ‘etc’ to inform the readers of the content. This is to give notice by the writer to the reader that more than one subject is being addressed. Or divide the post in to more than one posting. If the post is a response to an ongoing subject, review the subject line to ensure that the subject line still reflects the direction the “conversation” has taken. Also in responding to a post, please leave enough of the original post so those of us with short-term memory loss will know what the response is to. But, make sure you delete the footer. If the unnecessary stuff is not deleted, it makes the posts very long.

If the post includes talk about subjects that could trigger others, please make sure that the “subject ” line notes this. This can be accomplished by stating putting the word trigger in the subject heading with a sort description of the possible triggering subject matter. Some examples of triggers are:

  1. Talk about s*x
  2. Question about abuse
  3. Strong emotions vented (mention the emotion particularly).
  4. Bugs
  5. Graphic memory
  6. D*ath
  7. Sn*kes
  8. C*lt beliefs
  9. Programming
  10. sa*an

A sentence or two of introduction, and then skipping some lines is also reasonable. Remember that some subjects that do not trigger you may trigger another on the list. When in doubt it’s best to trigger a post. Please respect each person’s frailty and strengths.

Clean humor is always welcomed. Please make sure that if the humor is subtle, that somewhere in the subject line or post it is stated that this is a joke, humor, hehehehe, :0), so that those whose sense of humor is different will be aware.

Posts (themselves, in general):
Please use a font size that is not under a 10 so that those with sight problems will not have trouble reading the posts. Typing in all caps is not allowed, due to this being the same as screaming in email etiquette. We realize there are strong emotions must be expressed, but we feel it healthier to use expressive words rather than all caps. Although some may used to using capitals to emphasize a word or sentence, MT’s policy is to not use all caps at all. Some survivors are particularly triggered with all caps.

Any subject is welcomed. All feelings are OK to express – positive as well as ‘negative’, dark as well as light. We do not discourage exploring the negativity in our lives (we all have our ups and downs). This is a place to explore such feelings. Exploring those feelings, and doing it many times is not considered whining. It is considered part of the healing process. We are all here to listen at times, and to be the one who needs to be heard at times.

We try to avoid giving pat statements, unsolicited advice, and rationalizations and we do not try to fix people. When giving feedback, use “I” statements that best reflect your own personal experiences. If any of the above are noticed on the list, anyone can remind the poster of this guideline. Suggest that this matter is taken up with the person posting privately. If that does not seem to work, or you do not feel comfortable in doing this, please contact a staff member.

If you are feeling judgmental or critical of another person’s posting, please refrain from commenting via a post and focus instead on what it is about the issues being presented that triggers this response in yourself. If after this examination, you want to express an opinion, keep your comments focused on yourself and what you have learned/discovered. Please do not engage in bashing any group. This list is for EVERYBODY who has been, or is being abused and believes in and follows Christ. If you need to vent, try a private email to a staff person.

Each of us comes from different and unique experiences and places. We all have different views, opinions, and lifestyles. Hopefully, these differences will help us learn and grow. We don’t need to agree with one another, but we do need to be respectful of each other for who and where we are right now in our healing journeys.

We do encourage talk on spirituality. At times one or more people may include a post with scripture and thoughts on a subject, and maybe questions at the end to reflect upon. This is appropriate. Each person then decides whether they want to read the post, answer it, and then whether to send in their responses. All forms are acceptable. We do not trigger God here.

Littles may post, especially when they need to talk about trauma and memories or scary feelings. But we want to keep all littles safe and ask that if littles read the MT posts that they have an inside big there with them so as to keep safe. Because we give our littles their own list we ask that littles not use the MT emailing list to play games but use the Littles list for such games. I know we’ve had a blast on the Little’s list (or littles folder on the Forum) in the past by answering “What flower would you be if you were a flower?” That was so fun. Also starting one line of a story and have different littles put another line and another line and reading the story at the end…loads of fun.

Posts: Some No-Nos:
Due to the capability (and limitations) of the multiple computers in use no attachments in the email posts to the group are allowed so that all may ‘see’ what is sent.

It is inappropriate to post onlist that contains a plan or plans to commit suicide. We consider cutting to be a suicidal tool…because there are accidental deaths that can occur. If you find yourself spiraling deeper into cutting, call 911 immediately or crisis center or therapist/doctor. If you are presently cutting or self-harming then you may not post that you are doing so. The reason we do not allow this is because it puts the list in a position of therapist instead of support and it also causes others having difficulty in the area of self-harming or suicide to also act out as well. Processing a feeling/urge is different from a plan or the action of self harm. No graphic details of self-harm are allowed and no ideas on how to commit suicide are to be posted.

No bashing of others, of groups, etc. MT defines bashing as any disrespectful, judgmental posts and also any venting of emotions without the use of the ‘I statement.’ An ‘I statement’ is “I feel……when you……because.” This type of communication takes a bit more thought so it’s difficult to be reactive. It also comes across as less threatening and combative and most importantly answering the because part of the I statement helps you to see the trigger causing the emotion. This includes private email to all MT members and Staff.

Please, no spamming, solicitations, chain letters, etc. For those on the emailing list, please make sure that your posts do not have any of the above in the headers or footers.

Because people have various computers, some older and slower, please do not use stationery in email posts as it will slow down the downloading of emails and can lock up some computers.

Posts: Forwarding: At times one of us might see a post we would like to pass on to those outside of the membership. When considering this, remember the second rule of the list: confidentiality.

Confidentiality is a foundation of Multiple Treasures. Unless you have specific permission by the writer of a post that you may pass something on, please do not. Poems, stories, etc. that do not directly identify any member may be passed on. Remember to give credit to the author if one is listed. People share many things here because they feel safe to do so, and we want to be sure to maintain that safety to the best of our ability. If an original post is shared, without permission, you will be unsubscribed from this list.

If forwarding a post, please delete the “From:”, “Organization:”, and “To:” lines so that this information remains within the group. Also check header and footer of posting for information that may need to be deleted.

Confidentiality for others and us also.

Please make sure that you delete all the headers and the footers before posting to the list as it keeps us safe and keeps posts only as long as necessary.

Other Different Emailing Lists within Multiple Treasures:

Multiple Treasures (MT) and Multiple Treasures2 (MT2): The main lists where one is subscribed to one or the other or both, at the discretion of the staff members.

Little(s): For many MPD/DID these people are just as important as the host. There is a list for littles to post to that is moderated. Email Grace if your littles want to be on that list. Note: You have to be a member of Multiple Treasures for one month before joining the Littles list.

Beginning of Journey: This list is for any members of Multiple Treasures who are MPD/DID, and is a survivor of any form of ritual abuse. This includes Satanic Ritual abuse, Military abuse, Mind Control and Programming as well as any other form of ritual abuse that you may have suffered. This list does not require trigger warnings as BJ is total trigger content in discussion of ritual abuse, how it affects their lives, and the information that is shared as well. Email Grace if you want to be on that list. Note: You have to be a member of Multiple Treasures for six months and an approval from all Staff members before joining the BJ list. MT Staff reserves the right to reject you without letting you know the reasons. Please note that any decisions we make is for the safety of your system as well as the group.

Check-ins:
New members: All newbies are required to introduce themselves within the first month of joining. Remember that all members were newbies at one time. If you do not remember something about a member, ask. (Us oldies forget information also).

Old members: Old members: Just as all newbies are required to introduce themselves, all oldies should introduce themselves when a newbie joins. I suggest that you keep a general intro handy and post it as necessary. Once every 30 days: I require a check in at least a once month if you have not done a post for a month. This helps us to not worry about you and also to find out if you are doing okay. This is a good opportunity to allow us to share God’s love to you, get to know you and to pray for you.

NEW Emergencies: Please instruct your spouse or Significant Others to contact Grace at stefie@multipletreasures.org and let us know the news about the member. We no longer will allow non-members to post to the MT list, even if it is news of an urgent nature. Please allow Grace to pass along any messages from the spouse. Any non-member that posts a message on the member’s MT account, will cause the member to be put on moderated status for 30 days.

Vacations, etc: Yup, we all need these. Please let the group know if you plan on being gone (unable to read or respond to posts) for more than 24 hours or so.

Voting privileges: When there is a need, the list will have a group conscience where each member is entitled to vote. The group will abide by the collective decision of the group.

Staff: Our trusted servants volunteer for their respective jobs. Each member is important and each member shares a responsibility for the co-operation of our group.

Grace’s ending remarks:
I realize that I cannot make everyone happy nor mold the list to fit each individual’s personal needs. I can make the guidelines, such as no posting that is judgmental, but I do recognize that I cannot necessarily personalize this list to fill each individual specific needs.

With so many people on the membership, it is important that we all know the few basic rules and guidelines to keep Multiple Treasures the great forum that it is starting to. Anybody who has a problem or concern, please feel free to email me at my personal email (stefie@multipletreasures.org) and talk to me. This has always been how I keep the forum safe for everybody, so your feedback, comments and concerns are very important to me.

If too many people are uncomfortable with a certain direction the membership is taking, and express that concern to me, I have to take steps to work things out. Therefore, when I get more than one complaint from a member, I do have to take steps to correct whatever it is that people are uncomfortable with.