You’re a Man, Right?
“I was abused and I am a male!” and “I have DID and I am a male!”.
Sounds simple to say, right? Wrong! When you are a male, it is one thing you are NOT supposed to ever admit. One of the misconceptions of our society, is that men are supposed to be tough. That somehow, we should display an unbreakable wall of resiliency, at all times.
We believe that MPD/DID is God’s provision to deal with extreme trauma. Second, we believe with God’s help the horrors of an abusive childhood memories will fade and cease to cause an imbalance in the survivor’s emotional life. Being in a support group is a worthwhile process and it takes a great deal of courage to talk, heal and can make it in the colorful world. Why not start now and become a member of MT now! It’s the fourth goal and teamwork is what is needed to win!!
Throughtout our lives, we were told that “Men don’t cry” or “A real man can handle pain”. We were expected to keep our tears inside and our emotions in check. Even as children, we were inundated with the need to maintain the status of the male. We’d run our heads into walls for laughs. We ignore our loved ones because the game is on. And we don’t tell things that may put us in anything other than a “Manly” light. We are men, that is our job, its what we do!
As a child of severe abuse and trauma, we learned about masks, emotional displacements, dissociation and hiding ourselves. At the time, they were called “Phases”. Later we discovered it was called Dissociative Identity Disorder. We may be men, but the bottom line is we hurt!
Society is just now beginning to see that we are capable of not only feeling but expressing our pain. Society is acknowledging that males too, can be abused and have DID. I personally think it is long overdue. The time has finally arrived when we as men can say we need help and are strong enough to admit it! And as awareness rises, the need for forums for male DID survivors is greater than ever. And it is in places like MT-Men’s we come together and find the strength to seek healing, together. I think
that it would be rather difficult, to stop a bunch of men that are joined by a common cause, working together don’t you?
Support groups are a worthwhile process and it takes a great deal of courage to heal and make it in the colorful world. Multiple Treasures Emailing lists are groups of Christian men and women who are DID survivors of all kinds of abuse. Why not join our group and with the help of God and friends become the man you want to be. Able to share your emotions, feelings, and past experiences on the road to freedom and healing. We look forward to having you to join us.
For more information, contact the Owner at Multiple Treasures at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Some Suggested Books to Read:
Hunter, Mic. Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse. Random House, 1991.
Tobin, Rob. Alone and Forgotten: The Sexually Abused Man.Creative Bound, Inc., 1999.
De Milly, Walter. In My Father’s Arms: A True Story of Incest. University of Wisconsin Press, 1999.
Lew, Mike and Richard Hoffman. Leaping upon the Mountains: Men Proclaiming Victory over Sexual Child Abuse. North Atlantic Books, 2000.
Lew, Mike and Ellen Bass. Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse. Harper Collins, 1990.
Sonkin, Daniel and Lenore Walker. Wounded Boys Heroic Men: A Man’s Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse. Adams Media Corp., 1999
About Male Sexual Victimization by Richard Gartner.
Male Survivor – Overcoming Sexual Victimization of Boys and Men
Dr Richard Gartner’s website – this link will take you to some of his articles which is on the left.